It's only a fleeting glimpse...

I have been reminded many times in this last year that life is anything but infallible, permanent or otherwise granted. Tangled in the web of perceived entitlement, instilled from a life of Americanized images, blasted through ears and eyes to wash the mind and create an ignorance we called bliss. A dream within a dream. A poem about a painting of a photograph, crying with dry eyes. 

So much less is my perspective, inaudible whispers my only chance at reflection, redemption and/or introspection. My mothers soon to be late husband lays in wait for my arrival. Likely suffering, wanting only to say his last goodbyes. Mom was crying when I called her today. Two more flights and I will be home. Almost 2000 miles to go. I feel the overpriced airport beer lulling me closer to slumber. Begging to escape, just one last time before I must watch a loved one die. 

He will be three, this is not something I am used to. Fanciful and carefree, so much so simple, but now what? I can't find an answer. I can't find an outlet. Everything is collapsing everywhere I go. There is no way to contain anything anymore. The cup is too small, its seams far too weak. I fancy myself blind though I see clearer all the time. Where do I go from here? I can't say. Though I never could, until now it never really mattered. 

Don't worry mama, I will be home soon.