Nothing is perfect, all is as it should be...

As much as I love it here at the ashram, I have decided doing a full four months is probably not a the best idea. I am in a weird position right now, as I want to blog about my experience here, but I don't want to paint this place in a negative light. There is much beauty and wonder here, however there also much darkness. Darkness is always attracted to light, so that is the nature of the beast. Whenever you are doing Light work, the darkness will always try to come negate it.

I have made some wonderful friends here. The brothers and sisters that work at the ashram with me are absolutely wonderful. Friends for life. I have also been taking some wonderful courses and am learning so much every day. The recent Ayurveda course I took has inspired me to seriously study the science and become a practitioner.

However, with all the goodness comes bad. Well, maybe not so much bad, as difficulty. There is definitely some difficult energy here that can be rough to deal with. One of my brothers here feels that there was possibly some violence that took place on the land before the ashram was here. I have also heard that there was some bad juju ghost energy that was here in the meditation hall that had to be eradicated. Evidently a swami came here from India, and trapped a ghost in a bottle and released it at the Yuba River. Some kind of poltergeist or something, that would make sounds and scary dreams for the sensitive.

Also, management is totally wacked. There is a lot of hypocrisy from the senior staff and they just seem so serious all the time. I would think that the point of following a spiritual path is to be happy and not so grumpy all the time. I get scolded for stupid things. I find there is WAY too much control here. I understand the need for rules, and really, the goal is to help break down the ego, but, I just wish I got it from people I considered more evolved. There are no swamis here at the moment, and I feel like the guy in charge is the most lost one here. Whatever. For the most part it's all good I guess.

What it all comes down to is that I think I will need to take a break before TTC starts. I will leave for a bit on either the 1st or the 15th of next month, then return for TTC. I just don't want to be burnt out during my training. I still love it here, and I will likely return every year, but it seems like 2 months is the common breaking point. It is what it is.

Adapt, Adjust, Accommodate. Om Namah Sivaya!