The blessings of 11

We are all so blessed. This is a year of awakening. Time to listen to I, the deep I, the I untainted by all this so called "convenience".

An awareness has returned to me. This time more polished and true, able, hopefully, to hone the ego into a positive force. To be free from the boundaries imposed by society, culture and self. To see through to the truth that hides behind the truth, behind the lie, behind the THE.

The truth lies not in a single direction, but many. It is a puzzle whose pieces have been scattered and misused. Bent into cages, that which should have set us free.

The pieces remain, however. Tarnished, encrusted with lies and fears, they beg to be set free. Waiting for the time to once again become whole.

We are those pieces. The time is now.

Taking a break at mom's

I have taken a small break from the ashram... been at my mom's house for about 10 days now. It's pretty nice here, I have set up a tent down the hill from there house. It's like having my own private place. I have run an extension cord down the hill so I have power and a heater. I even have internet :)

I have been helping mom get her garden started and have been practicing the cooking skills I acquired at the ashram. Also have been reading a great book Tom Brown's Science and Art of Tracking. It's pretty chill here but I do miss the ashram a bit. Definitely want to visit for the 40th anniversary celebration.

I purchased a plane ticket for the Shaman Conference in Peru. Very excited about this. This year has been and will be so filled with adventure.

If you are reading this and you have a second, click on some of the ad links below to help support further adventures!

No Long Beach in April

It has turned out that Jesse won't be needing my help in April after all. I am going to tough it out here at the ashram till around April 15th or so, then spend some time with my mom before teacher training. The same issue I am having here is the same issue I have everywhere in life. It is my inability to tolerate people that don't live up to my expectations. In my social life that may work out best for the most part, but when it comes to a work environment it is not necessarily positive.

For the most part things are really good here. I spend most of my day on self study and self improvement. So maybe I have to put up with some of the people in charge not really knowing what they are doing, but if I can learn to overcome that I can overcome anything. I always pride myself on how few things bother me; what if I let nothing bother me at all? When I learn to control my mind in the most difficult of situations, I will be able to control it always.

This year is proving to be a truly growth filled year for me. I am learning more about cooking healthy food everyday, as I can usually manage to get a kitchen assistance shift at least once a day. This I owe to the rain as when the sun is out they have me on maintenance all day. It's nice to know I won't have to worry about keeping myself fed with healthy food from now on.

On an even more exciting note, I will be gong to Peru for the 2011 Soga Del Alma Shaman Conference. I purchased a ticket last year and was unable to make it there, so I am using the ticket this year instead. From what I have heard this totally turned out for the best as this year is going to be one of the best years bet. A friend of only one degree of separation ( friends of mine know her directly ) the Teafarie of Flow Temple will be speaking there this year. Yay! Can't wait!

Ready for some time off...

I have decided to take some time off before my teacher training... quite a bit actually ;) I will be leaving the ashram as early as this coming Saturday and no later than April 1st. As wonderful as it is here, there is too much hypocrisy and bureaucracy for my taste. Although I am learning a lot and making some wonderful friends, my spiritual practice is not being furthered here in the way I have hoped.

Those that know me know I am an avid middle-path walker. Everything here is too black and white. Though I will definitely return and am still looking forward to doing my teacher training here, living here for super long stints just isn't going to work for me. Because I have no desire to badmouth this place or discourage anyone from trying it out for themselves, I will leave it at that.

Also there is a good chance that I will be in Long Beach for the month of April, so if that becomes a "for sure" I will be sure to let everyone know and put together some sort of fun gathering.

Keep loving, keep shining, keep dancing.

Nothing is perfect, all is as it should be...

As much as I love it here at the ashram, I have decided doing a full four months is probably not a the best idea. I am in a weird position right now, as I want to blog about my experience here, but I don't want to paint this place in a negative light. There is much beauty and wonder here, however there also much darkness. Darkness is always attracted to light, so that is the nature of the beast. Whenever you are doing Light work, the darkness will always try to come negate it.

I have made some wonderful friends here. The brothers and sisters that work at the ashram with me are absolutely wonderful. Friends for life. I have also been taking some wonderful courses and am learning so much every day. The recent Ayurveda course I took has inspired me to seriously study the science and become a practitioner.

However, with all the goodness comes bad. Well, maybe not so much bad, as difficulty. There is definitely some difficult energy here that can be rough to deal with. One of my brothers here feels that there was possibly some violence that took place on the land before the ashram was here. I have also heard that there was some bad juju ghost energy that was here in the meditation hall that had to be eradicated. Evidently a swami came here from India, and trapped a ghost in a bottle and released it at the Yuba River. Some kind of poltergeist or something, that would make sounds and scary dreams for the sensitive.

Also, management is totally wacked. There is a lot of hypocrisy from the senior staff and they just seem so serious all the time. I would think that the point of following a spiritual path is to be happy and not so grumpy all the time. I get scolded for stupid things. I find there is WAY too much control here. I understand the need for rules, and really, the goal is to help break down the ego, but, I just wish I got it from people I considered more evolved. There are no swamis here at the moment, and I feel like the guy in charge is the most lost one here. Whatever. For the most part it's all good I guess.

What it all comes down to is that I think I will need to take a break before TTC starts. I will leave for a bit on either the 1st or the 15th of next month, then return for TTC. I just don't want to be burnt out during my training. I still love it here, and I will likely return every year, but it seems like 2 months is the common breaking point. It is what it is.

Adapt, Adjust, Accommodate. Om Namah Sivaya!

Chapati Recipe

Here is a delicious and simple recipe I learned in the vegetarian cooking course. Chapati is a delicious flat bread from India. Super simple to make and delicious.. great to use for eating with your hands :)

Ingredients ( makes approx 5 Chapati ):

1 cup chapati or wheat flour
1/2 cup warm water
1 Teaspoon Turmeric
1 Teaspoon Coriander
Pinch of salt

Mix the dry ingredients first. Slowly add the water, mixing until dough is completely moistened, it should end up the consistency of cookie dough. You may end up using a bit less or a bit more water. Set the ball of dough on the counter or on a plate and cover with a bowl. Let it sit for 30 minutes.

Roll the dough into about a 2 inch thick bar then cut the bar into about 5 sections. Roll each section as flat as you can get it, using flour on the counter and rolling pin to avoid sticking.

Heat some sunflower or other healthy oil in a frying pan or skillet to frying temperature. Fry each chapati to a golden brown color.

Very simple and yummy! Enjoy!

No more sleeping in a tent for a while...

Well, I wussed out and moved to sleeping inside in the boys community area. I can't begin to explain how well I slept last night.

Life here is beyond wonderful. I have made some great friends and have been doing so much fun stuff I can't even begin to list them. The daily yoga and satsang is truly transforming.

Today is open house, so there are lots of guests. Also a van full of high school kids showed up for some sort of week long field trip or something. Wow! What a great high school... I am definitely going to have to check out new mexico one of these days.

Unfortunately my laptop doesn't seem to like connecting to facebook from this connection, which really makes no sense as everything else works fine. I am having to use the community computer to access facebook, not sure why. Anyway, I have asana class in 20 minutes, so I need to wrap this up... I will post more updates soon ( like about my awesome cooking class I just took )... Big love to everyone ♥

Loving Ashram Life ♥

Life in the ashram is absolutely wonderful. It can be difficult at times, waking up at the crack of dawn, meditating and doing yoga everyday. The challenge, however, is truly rewarding. I am fasting today for Maha Shivaratri and will be staying up all night doing puja. Life here is very fitting for me.

My karma yoga is getting more fun every day. I will be working on the deck soon ( yay! it's actually sunny today! ) and cleaning in the kitchen this evening. It has been raining every day, which makes my tent stay quite interesting. It is quite cold at night, but my camping gear from R.E.I. is keeping me quite warm. The only strange thing being the slight layer of dampness that covers my blanket or sleeping bag in the morning. Not wet, just slightly damp and cold on the outside even though inside is toasty warm.

I was pretty sore today, but asana class blew that right out of me. Also, my lungs are cleaning out in an insane way. It feels good to have no desire to smoke anything, cigs or weed. The black and brown crap I have been coughing up is a serious indicator that this cleansing is VERY important for my health.

I have been reading a great book called the Sustainable Vegetable Garden. It's amazing how inefficiently most farming is done in the united states. No more planting in rows!

It's almost time for karma yoga, so I must wrap it up for now.

Om Shanti!

Leg one of travel complete. More snow than electricity

My day, yesterday, began at Denny's restaurant at 5 am. I had arrived early figuring I should be able to get a quick breakfast before I catch my 5:55 bus. Yea, sure, it's Denny's, but you would think you could at least get a reasonably sized breakfast. By reasonable I mean not large enough to feed an army. They don't even offer any non-meat breakfasts. Just coffee will be fine.

Amtrak arrives early and leaves exactly on time. Their buses are also much cleaner and more comfortable than Greyhound. Definitely worth the few dollars extra. First stop was Union Station LA, where this sweet little lesbian Rasta chick sits next to me. We decided to be travel buddies within minutes and she ended up smoking me out at every stop for the whole trip. Awesome. The only downside was that I didn't manage to get any sleep on the trip.

I have been in Colfax at the Mom's house for about 24 hours now. It was snowing for 20 of those hours, and the power has been off for 18 hours. It's not too bad, we have a generator so we are not in the dark and I was able to charge my laptop. It's actually working out to my advantage as there really isn't anything to do but get well. 12 hours of travel on 3.5 hours of sleep definitely wasn't friendly to my immune system, but I got a good night of sleep last night and slept most of the day away. Between actually being able to relax and the chicken soup my sister made, I should be well in no time.

Feeling a bit better.... ready to hit the road!

I slept for about 20 hours yesterday. My back is pretty sore, but I feel better. No where near normal, but better nonetheless.

As far as I can tell, I am ready to go. I have some laundry to do tonight, then I am going to repack my bag to ensure I have everything I need and nothing  more. My reward will be 4 days of relaxation at my mom's house.

It also turns out that I am going to Burning Man! I set up a few Wordpress websites, and in exchange I am getting a ticket to the burn. Can't wait! This year has so far been great and is only getting better...

Final Countdown with Sinus Infection

I will be hopping on a bus in less than 48 hours. Everything is going great save for I seem to have sinus infection or something. Sneezing, coughing and feeling like caca in general.

Positive side to the phlegm factory is I have finally purchased a vaporizer. Talk about huge difference! For only $70 I locally purchased an Easy Vape digital vaporizer. There is a number on the front, but I highly doubt that's the actual temperature, it's more just a reference number. The unit seems to work best for me set from 230 to 240.

Violence, Damage and Tolerance

What is tolerance? It goes by many definitions, but the one I am talking about today is social tolerance, or as defined by Webster:

a : sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own


Usually when we thing of tolerance, we think of it in a positive way. Which, in all honesty, is not all that positive. If one tolerates someone's race/creed/orientation, does that mean, "It's not OK, but I put up with it." ? It would seem to me that the goal is acceptance, not merely tolerance.


A friend of mine returned from Iraq with a severe case of PTSD. It manifests it self in many ways from sleeplessness, depression to violent outbursts. We don't like it, but we tolerate it. When, though, does this tolerance become enabling? Is tolerance of this kind acceptable in any way shape or form?


There is all this talk about tolerance, but is this really the correct term to use? One can tolerate violence, pain, heat and cold. Is tolerance really the word we want to use in place of acceptance? When will we realize that no matter how different we are, we are still all the same? The only thing that separates us is us.


Live to love and you will love to live.

The final week begins...

It has come down to the final week before departing from Long Beach. Life has been crazy busy hectic, but in a really cool way.

The guy taking over for me started today, I really hope he picks things up quick, I don't want to the Visualade is in a bind when I leave.

Shopping is done, packing is almost done, dental work is complete for now.

Tonight hanging out at Blu Cafe on Pine, tomorrow night is the MASH-LBC ride (weather permitting) and Sunday I will be DJing at Fern's. Pretty full final week... definitely won't be bored :)

10 Days and Counting

I will be leaving Long Beach in 10 days. I have purchased all the gear I need to live in a tent for 4 months and am almost done packing.  I THINK I have everything in order.

Work has been hectic. Lot's of things to get done before I leave, and I am in no mood whatsoever to write code. New guy doesn't start till Wednesday, which means I will only have a week to train him.

Everything else is going great. Very excited for my adventure, and my last months in town have been awesome. I will be DJing on Sunday at Fern's and possibly tomorrow as well ( not sure where yet ).

Cycling, as usual, is keeping me balanced :) I rode 45 miles this weekend, it was great.

It's getting close to travel time...

In less than two weeks I will be heading out to spend four months at the Sivnanda Yoga Farm.

I am doing two months of work study, then a month of Yoga Teacher Training then another month of work study. When I return I will be a certified yoga instructor and have lot's of cool new knowledge on meditation, food, Vedic Astrology and much more.

I will be blogging and posting here in hopes to make this available to people without Facebook... hopefully I will be able to integrate the two :)