No Long Beach in April

It has turned out that Jesse won't be needing my help in April after all. I am going to tough it out here at the ashram till around April 15th or so, then spend some time with my mom before teacher training. The same issue I am having here is the same issue I have everywhere in life. It is my inability to tolerate people that don't live up to my expectations. In my social life that may work out best for the most part, but when it comes to a work environment it is not necessarily positive.

For the most part things are really good here. I spend most of my day on self study and self improvement. So maybe I have to put up with some of the people in charge not really knowing what they are doing, but if I can learn to overcome that I can overcome anything. I always pride myself on how few things bother me; what if I let nothing bother me at all? When I learn to control my mind in the most difficult of situations, I will be able to control it always.

This year is proving to be a truly growth filled year for me. I am learning more about cooking healthy food everyday, as I can usually manage to get a kitchen assistance shift at least once a day. This I owe to the rain as when the sun is out they have me on maintenance all day. It's nice to know I won't have to worry about keeping myself fed with healthy food from now on.

On an even more exciting note, I will be gong to Peru for the 2011 Soga Del Alma Shaman Conference. I purchased a ticket last year and was unable to make it there, so I am using the ticket this year instead. From what I have heard this totally turned out for the best as this year is going to be one of the best years bet. A friend of only one degree of separation ( friends of mine know her directly ) the Teafarie of Flow Temple will be speaking there this year. Yay! Can't wait!

Ready for some time off...

I have decided to take some time off before my teacher training... quite a bit actually ;) I will be leaving the ashram as early as this coming Saturday and no later than April 1st. As wonderful as it is here, there is too much hypocrisy and bureaucracy for my taste. Although I am learning a lot and making some wonderful friends, my spiritual practice is not being furthered here in the way I have hoped.

Those that know me know I am an avid middle-path walker. Everything here is too black and white. Though I will definitely return and am still looking forward to doing my teacher training here, living here for super long stints just isn't going to work for me. Because I have no desire to badmouth this place or discourage anyone from trying it out for themselves, I will leave it at that.

Also there is a good chance that I will be in Long Beach for the month of April, so if that becomes a "for sure" I will be sure to let everyone know and put together some sort of fun gathering.

Keep loving, keep shining, keep dancing.

Nothing is perfect, all is as it should be...

As much as I love it here at the ashram, I have decided doing a full four months is probably not a the best idea. I am in a weird position right now, as I want to blog about my experience here, but I don't want to paint this place in a negative light. There is much beauty and wonder here, however there also much darkness. Darkness is always attracted to light, so that is the nature of the beast. Whenever you are doing Light work, the darkness will always try to come negate it.

I have made some wonderful friends here. The brothers and sisters that work at the ashram with me are absolutely wonderful. Friends for life. I have also been taking some wonderful courses and am learning so much every day. The recent Ayurveda course I took has inspired me to seriously study the science and become a practitioner.

However, with all the goodness comes bad. Well, maybe not so much bad, as difficulty. There is definitely some difficult energy here that can be rough to deal with. One of my brothers here feels that there was possibly some violence that took place on the land before the ashram was here. I have also heard that there was some bad juju ghost energy that was here in the meditation hall that had to be eradicated. Evidently a swami came here from India, and trapped a ghost in a bottle and released it at the Yuba River. Some kind of poltergeist or something, that would make sounds and scary dreams for the sensitive.

Also, management is totally wacked. There is a lot of hypocrisy from the senior staff and they just seem so serious all the time. I would think that the point of following a spiritual path is to be happy and not so grumpy all the time. I get scolded for stupid things. I find there is WAY too much control here. I understand the need for rules, and really, the goal is to help break down the ego, but, I just wish I got it from people I considered more evolved. There are no swamis here at the moment, and I feel like the guy in charge is the most lost one here. Whatever. For the most part it's all good I guess.

What it all comes down to is that I think I will need to take a break before TTC starts. I will leave for a bit on either the 1st or the 15th of next month, then return for TTC. I just don't want to be burnt out during my training. I still love it here, and I will likely return every year, but it seems like 2 months is the common breaking point. It is what it is.

Adapt, Adjust, Accommodate. Om Namah Sivaya!

Chapati Recipe

Here is a delicious and simple recipe I learned in the vegetarian cooking course. Chapati is a delicious flat bread from India. Super simple to make and delicious.. great to use for eating with your hands :)

Ingredients ( makes approx 5 Chapati ):

1 cup chapati or wheat flour
1/2 cup warm water
1 Teaspoon Turmeric
1 Teaspoon Coriander
Pinch of salt

Mix the dry ingredients first. Slowly add the water, mixing until dough is completely moistened, it should end up the consistency of cookie dough. You may end up using a bit less or a bit more water. Set the ball of dough on the counter or on a plate and cover with a bowl. Let it sit for 30 minutes.

Roll the dough into about a 2 inch thick bar then cut the bar into about 5 sections. Roll each section as flat as you can get it, using flour on the counter and rolling pin to avoid sticking.

Heat some sunflower or other healthy oil in a frying pan or skillet to frying temperature. Fry each chapati to a golden brown color.

Very simple and yummy! Enjoy!

No more sleeping in a tent for a while...

Well, I wussed out and moved to sleeping inside in the boys community area. I can't begin to explain how well I slept last night.

Life here is beyond wonderful. I have made some great friends and have been doing so much fun stuff I can't even begin to list them. The daily yoga and satsang is truly transforming.

Today is open house, so there are lots of guests. Also a van full of high school kids showed up for some sort of week long field trip or something. Wow! What a great high school... I am definitely going to have to check out new mexico one of these days.

Unfortunately my laptop doesn't seem to like connecting to facebook from this connection, which really makes no sense as everything else works fine. I am having to use the community computer to access facebook, not sure why. Anyway, I have asana class in 20 minutes, so I need to wrap this up... I will post more updates soon ( like about my awesome cooking class I just took )... Big love to everyone ♥

Loving Ashram Life ♥

Life in the ashram is absolutely wonderful. It can be difficult at times, waking up at the crack of dawn, meditating and doing yoga everyday. The challenge, however, is truly rewarding. I am fasting today for Maha Shivaratri and will be staying up all night doing puja. Life here is very fitting for me.

My karma yoga is getting more fun every day. I will be working on the deck soon ( yay! it's actually sunny today! ) and cleaning in the kitchen this evening. It has been raining every day, which makes my tent stay quite interesting. It is quite cold at night, but my camping gear from R.E.I. is keeping me quite warm. The only strange thing being the slight layer of dampness that covers my blanket or sleeping bag in the morning. Not wet, just slightly damp and cold on the outside even though inside is toasty warm.

I was pretty sore today, but asana class blew that right out of me. Also, my lungs are cleaning out in an insane way. It feels good to have no desire to smoke anything, cigs or weed. The black and brown crap I have been coughing up is a serious indicator that this cleansing is VERY important for my health.

I have been reading a great book called the Sustainable Vegetable Garden. It's amazing how inefficiently most farming is done in the united states. No more planting in rows!

It's almost time for karma yoga, so I must wrap it up for now.

Om Shanti!